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The Paper Toy

Words & Film

Following Instructions
Blind Date
Tripe Pipe
You Know Promo
Trees
The Cat’s Biscuits
Science & Love
Maryon Park
Ringo The Stag Beetle
Ginger Hair
Animal Love Rod Hull
I’m A Celebrity...
An Unexpected Call
Old People Poems

Pretty much all the music featured can be heard on my myspace.

I'm A Celebrity

I'm Not A Celebrity,
Get Me In There
More high brow entertainment from the channel that gives our fair isle Loose Women and Ross Kemp as Rambo, 'I'm A Celebrity' returns with an appetite whetting line up.

Worzel Gummidge
Keen to be seen as more than a head swapping scarecrow with a penchant for tea and cake, Worzel hopes to find love in the jungle. Producers might be worried about his insistence for a daily half bottle of cheap scotch and his roving eye.

Ho Chi Minh
Rumoured to be dangerously ill, Ho Chi wants to show the world he is still as strong as an Ox and man enought to eat testicles. His on-off affair with fellow contestant Penelope Pitstop could see some fireworks fly. It's no secret that it was Ho Chi who released their 'personal homemade movies' on Limewire.

Penelope Pitsop
Still stunning after all these years, but now a serious campaigner for animal rights and zero emissions, Penny wants to raise publicity for her endangered species stationery outlet. Pencil cases made from White Rhino lung lining are a big seller. She is the bookies favourite to win the competition and should have it in the bag so long as she keeps her political views to herself.

Madame Cholet
Bravely takings time off from her famously busy South London Brothel, M. Cholet is an outside favourite with her cuddly looks and competitive rate for gentleman's entertainment. Also seeking the opportunity to clear her name of allegations of sleaze with American President Elect Barrack "Extras" Obama.

Napoleon
Whilst his legacy is unrivalled, Bonaparte has become increasingly disgruntled with history remembering him as little. He spends most days over seeing his plumbing franchises and playing draughs, this little eccentric could cause sparks with his views on feminism and the class system. Last seen leaving Dragons Den with a flea in his ear and his 'banana peeler' dream in tatters.

Jeffery
Now working as a drag queen in the Rainbow club, Ashton-under-Lyme, he is rarely seen out of women's clothing. Wants to show the world he's a nice guy after serving two years at her majesty's pleasure for battering his common law partner, Zippy, over a row over the freezer door being left open. Apparently a pack of 20 sausage rolls, the previous weeks left over chilli con carne and a Walls Vienetta all perished.

Barbarella
A regular on the reality circuit, Barb is confident after 2nd and 3rd place finishes on Celebrity Big Brother and Stars In Their Eyes. Known for her bawdy humour and flirtatious ways she is expected to battle Pistsop for the queen of the showering bikini shot. A well publicised Leyton Orient fan she'll find it tough missing the 'O's expected good cup run this year following foreign investment and purchasing of superstars Robbie Savage and Keiron Dyer. Not bad, nuh?

Mary Queen of Scots
Disgraced former GMTV presenter Mary was last seen on our screens drunkenly accusing David Jason that storylines on 'Inspector Frost' proved he was a holocaust denier. The most outrageous of the Royals, Mary has featured heavily in lad's mags Loaded, Front and Gulls Balls. A failed foray into pop music behind her, many see this as her last chance for fame.